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How I Got My Inner Mommy
Happy Mother’s Day everyone! I’d been thinking about writing this post for quite a while to celebrate Mother’s Day. However, like many of you I’ve just been so busy with being a mom, working, blogging and well life that I didn’t get it written up until now. So what do I mean how did I get my inner mommy? Let me share first what I mean about “my inner mommy”. For me it means nurturing, helping other, supporting, encouraging, teaching, sharing and well everything that so many moms do naturally and not just moms but women and men too. However, I’m focusing on women today for “Mother’s Day”.
My inner mommy came from my mom Tuong Vy, my paternal grandmother Beryl and it truly blossomed when I became a mom. I admired and learned from my mom’s courage to come from a country at war (Vietnam) to Canada where she did not know the language, her ability to adapt to a new culture and at the age of 23 with a child in tow to boot. From my grandmother it was her grace and quiet strength and unconditional love of her seven grandchildren that also contributed to my inner mommy. However my inner mommy truly blossomed from the birth of my daughter Sian who has taught me what it’s like to want to put someone first, unconditional love, whose stubborness tries my patience but makes me love her all the more for it.
Like many young women (not all)when I was in my 20s I was a good person, somewhat thoughtful but focused on myself, my boyfriend (whose now my hubby) and my life. My family was always important too but my “inner mommy” was not quite developed. I can say this now as I look back and think of my friends who had children before me and how I would be irritated at how it was so hard to get together with them and when we finally did get together they could never stay for very long etc…. I even remember the time when I was getting married and my maid of honour whose little guy was not quite 1 year old we had an appointment to go check out a florist. I changed the appointment at the last minute for a few different reasons thinking no big deal it was just an hour later, phoned my maid of honour and my bridesmaid to let them know. My maid of honour was the only one of the three of us who had a child and changing this appointment was a big deal because she had made arrangements to have her mother-in-law watch her son while we were out but her mother-in-law could only stay so long. You hopefully get the picture I just didn’t think of how the change in time could impact my friend. Now others my age at the time might have been a little more thoughtful about it. For me I just hadn’t developed my inner mommy, going beyond thinking about myself and how even the little changes impact others.
It’s not all about being thoughtful as I’ve said but it’s instinct too, putting others before ourselves, the sharing, the caring and so much more. Some women I knew or have known whose inner mommies were so amazing were not enough mommies themselves but that had that maternal instinct and maternal love in them. My husband had such an influence someone who like his older sister and a 2nd mom to him but she was not mom herself. She had her inner mommy as she truly just wanted to help him and support him to be the person he is today. In fact our daughter’s middle name is a combination of my mom’s maiden name and my husband’s “big sister/2nd mom” Jean. This post is in memory of Jean too and all the women out there who are moms and have that inner mommy in them.
I never thought I’d want to help someone more than myself, put them first and enjoy and take pride in their growth and accomplishments. Women we are awesome and let’s not forget it rejoice and celebrate being a mom and/or your inner mommy! Without all of you the children of today won’t grow up to be the fabulous adults we know they can be as everyone needs to be encouraged, nurtured, supported and so much more of which our inner and outer momminess will help them with.
Here’s to all of us!
Feel free to leave a comment, tell me about your inner mommy and/or who influenced you growing up?