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7 Tips to help teens transition to high school

in Children, Education, Talking About, teens on

Powered by Mom talks about tips to help our teens transition to high school

Do you have a teen for whom this year is their first year in high school? Welcome to the club, my daughter is about to start high school next week! We’re a couple of weeks later for starting school this year due to a province wide teacher’s strike here in BC. This has however given me the opportunity to really think about how I can help my teen transition into high school successfully. I’ve given this a lot of thought, I talked to other parents whose children have already gone through high school, are in high school already, dug deep into my own experiences and what my parents did and did not do.

high school daughter

I also realized that besides my parenting skills and I had some professional skills and experience from which I could draw some practical experience to put to good use to help my daughter transition. After all for over 10 years I helped recently graduated students transition into university. I was the one who organized the orientation events, organized campus tours, gave advice on how to prepare and more. There are many similarities between going from elementary to secondary school and from there to university so that means there are many tips that can be applied to both transitions.


I want to be able to support my daughter for her success and to get her high school years off to the best start possible.

Here’s my favourite tips to help our teens transition to high school

1.  Have a plan

When I say this it means figure out how you can help your child learn the ropes at their school. Find out when there are orientation days, is their a buddy or mentor system where they pair a grade 8 student with an older student, Get them their locks in advance so they remember the combination an find out their schedule, give them a chance to know the physical layout of the school in advance if possible. I had arranged with my daughter’s high school counsellor for a tour of the school before grade 8 started. My daughter needs the extra time to orient her herself so a personalized tour in addition to a tour with a group of students was beneficial to her.

Whether your teen is taking the bus or being dropped off and picked up physically walk them through the routes, where the bus stops are, have them take that bus with you. Or if your like us and are dropping off and picking up your child, do a test run. Seeing and doing helps more than just telling them how to do it.

2. Let them know they don’t have to figure it all out in one day

Remind them that it’s okay if they don’t figure it all out right away as it takes time to learn the ropes. Encourage them to ask questions if they don’t understand something, even if they have to ask the question more than once, it’s all good

3. Making new friends

If they are worried about making new friends suggest that they check out school clubs that interest them. Joining a couple where the other kids have similar interests is a good way to make new friends. Also they can introduce their friends to any new friends and if everyone reciprocates sometimes they’ve made more new friends then they’ve realized

4. Take time to adjust to the curriculum

Students are sometimes blind sided by the higher academic standards of high school. Remind them to breathe and to take the time to adjust to it. This doesn’t mean to slack off but rather if necessary spend a bit more time learning the curriculum, get peer tutoring or extra help of some kind if needed. For our daughter who struggles to concentrate we explored the option of what her school calls a learning block. We did this while she was still in grade 7 as we know where she struggles and knew she will need time to adjust to a new curriuclum and school. See what your school has to offer and what would be suited to your teen.

5 Ask for help

Remind and encourage your teen that they need to know when to ask for help. Whether that help is in the form of academic tutoring or they are feeling stressed out, low self esteem, let them know asking for help is a good thing always.

6. Pay attention and listen Parents this is for you

Yes this one is for us parents! We need to listen to our children and take any concerns or fears they might have seriously. We should never dismiss them as each person experiences things differently and copes with them differently. Our goal should be to make sure they know we are really listening and here to help them when they need us, and sometimes when they don’t know they need us yet. We need to notice if they’re getting enough sleep, do they seem overly stressed out and/or don’t seem like themselves.

7. Let them know you love them unconditionally 

This is not really a tip but a reminder as I know the parents who care we love them unconditionally already but sometimes we have to remind them of that so that they don’t feel alone. Be there when they need you, drop them off around the corner when they ask and just always communicate without judgement and support them always.

I know there are a lot more tips out there but those are my top seven tips. I would love to hear your tips so please feel free to share them below by commenting and let’s support each other so we can support our kids.

 

This is not a compensated post of any kind. Just a parent sharing her tips with other parents and hoping we can all support each other 🙂

Comments

  2. This is a hard transition time for most of our children. They really do need our support and we do need to listen to what they are telling us and not make light of it. This was a great article. Thank you for sharing

  5. I remember thinking only 3 more years! High school is the best time. Kids are growing up (hopefully). Just have fun.

  7. I’m daughter aren’t quite ready for this yet but I’m definitely going to remember thanks

  9. These are great suggestions! Transitioning into high school can be tough, and it’s important to know your parents are on your side.

  10. I have to say , I was guilty of the not listening to my child when she was alot younger but I have gotten better. They really are affected by that and get really offended and upset when they know we as parents do not listen to their concerns

  11. Thank you for all the information you provide here I have 4 kids and I will really going to use all the information

  12. I’m going to have to remember this my daughter is about to be there soon too 🙁

  13. i loved one of the tips is that to Ask For Help. i have seen my teen daughter shy away from people when it comes to asking foe help. i encourage her to ask for help whenever necessary. she tries to solve her problems on her own and i feel i need to really push her to talk to people and interact.

  14. Thanks for this info — I remember how hard it was for me to transition from a private, Christian middle school to a public high school! These are great tips.

  15. Ugh I remember my first days of high school…going from a 2 level school to a one level that was at least a 1/4 mile long and you had classes from one end to the next (which you had to get to in 4 minutes!). A lot of teachers were helpful and forgiving the first week or so of 9th grade but then you had ones that weren’t and you also had to figure out times for your locker. It took me a bit, but once you get the hang of it, its easy. My brother started 9th grade this year and he didnt want to listen to anyone (because he knows everything more so than the average teenager) and he found out very quickly how different High school is from Middle school….people dont just dont sit back and take your crap like in middle school they fight back in high school lol

  16. its great that you’s are taking it seriously and getting prepared by this, it wasn’t like this for me. Great post and best of wishes!

  18. Great tips! And most importantly, they should feel confident and comfortable to be themselves. They don’t need to conform for people to “like” them. True friends will like you for who you are.

  20. These are great tips, my two older girls have been able to successfully complete their High school years, but my 14 year old freshman this year is finding some problems and we have been encouraging her to seek help with certain areas. I know I have to listen to her concerns so I can help her or find someone who can. Great subject!

  23. these are great tips. I remember what a hard time this was for me so I want to do all that I can to help my LO when the time comes.

  24. Very good advice on helping a child orient to high school, I believe it is hard for any age child when they change schools, and new friends, subjects, teachers, schedules and times of school make it very hard to adjust to, I grew up military and every two to three years we were changing schools, and I remember being overwhelmed by the changes, but family support, involvement and love is very important to the change, thank you for sharing your ideas. and always support you child and school

  25. These are all great advise! My son is in 1st grade but it never hurts to start thinking about the big step of becoming a young adult.

  26. It is so hard for kids today to learn to fit and still keep their own individuality- my daughter needs to take medication at school and it is a challenge for her as she does not want to be ‘different’.

  30. I love this! I personally had a very hard time adjusting to high school life. I think if I had had more parental support and guidance, I would have transitioned easier.

  33. Great tips,I have no one to share these with,but hoping parents can
    help their teen transition more easily.

  34. My Grandson and Granddaughter will be entering High School next year. My Granddaughter has went through bulling at school and was feeling stressed out a lot last year.. We try to encourage them and listen to any concerns they may have. We watch for any mood changes.

  37. I think it is much harder for children these days then it was back in my day. So many new pressures that they must face. These tips are excellent.

  39. Thanks for all these great tips! My daughters in 8th so next year shell be in HS it was nice to hear from someone who is experiencing this first hand 🙂

  40. Thank you for sharing all your great tips. My son is in the 10th grade and is doing wonderful!! His motto is “be a buddy, not a bully”! and has taught that to his friends as well:)

  41. The best way to help a teen is to let them know about how other teens act. There is a lot of peer pressure and bullying. They need to stay strong and have a couple people they can talk to at all times.

  42. My daughter started high school too. She was very nervous & scared about finding her classrooms. Also she signed up for French & she was the only 9th grader. It took her a couple of days, but she has adjusted well & doing great in school! I’m so proud of her! Hope your daughter is enjoying high school, its a big transition!

  43. I can still remember just how scary it was to walk into high school for the first time. I was used to a classroom of 20 kids, and it was overwhelming to be surrounded by hundreds of strangers. Exciting too, but it’s not the easiest transition. Wish I’d had these tips back then, but my message to kids just starting now is you WILL survive. 🙂

  45. High school, I remember that I couldn’t wait to get there. It’s really not too different than going from grade school to junior high.

  46. I didn’t have any of these when I went to high school. I think the easiest way to transition is to have friends, who are going through the same thing. That’s how I survived when I transferred to a new school district & into high school.

  48. These are all good tips for helping a teen adjust to high school. They should know that they can always get help and not be afraid to ask for it.

  49. One of my daughters is a junior in high school. I think it is important to stay involved with their schooling even at this level, for example, volunteering or being involved in the PTA. Also, to make sure they have places to go and things to do with friends that are fun, but well chaperoned. They should not be hanging out or going to parties where parents are not home.

  50. These are excellent tips and I will be sure to share them with my friends who have teenagers. Thank you.

  51. My little boy is only in 1st grade right now but these tips are very informative and will help my husband and I to help our son greatly when he does finally transition to high school. Thank you so much!

  52. My child started middle school this year and I found we had the same issues. My best advice to her was “everyone else is new too.” Knowing that made it just a little simpler for her. Best wishes to everyone in transition!

  54. Great tips!! My “children” are all grown up now, but I do have a few grandchildren who will be entering highschool. I will be using these tips to help me to help them. Especially the one about listening. When I think back to when my kids where in high school, I really believe I didn’t do enough listening. I did more talking then listening. So now I can correct that with my grandchildren. Thanks for the tips!!

  55. Granddaughter just started 9th grade and so far the transition is running smoothly. Having some of her friends there from jr high helps.

  56. Another thing you can do is call the school during the summer to talk to a counselor. Ask to visit the school during the summer with your child. Make a date to visit and talk to the counselor and your child, telling your child that the counselor will be there to make sure things go smoothly and that the child can visit the counselor anytime during the school day. This will comfort your child knowing there is someone there to talk to.

  58. This is my son’s first year in High school also! They do have a mentor program in which his older cousin is in and she picked him. I am relieved that he does have relatives that are going to the school he is!

  60. Your daughter is so cute. I hope my kid looks that normal when he gets to high school. Seems like such an awkward age and it’s nice to get help with the transition.

  61. Very good advice & I am sure very helpful to many parents. It is very rough for teenagers today.

  63. Great article. I think I’ll be a mess when my kids go to highschool! They just started elementary school. I think that a lot of the points you touched on can be used even for those of us who Dont have kids transitioning into highschool but school in general. Definitely important to always listen to what your child’s fears are as they are as real as yours and mine! Thank u for such a helpful article!

  64. This is some very sound advice. I gave my daughter and sons similar advice. It is great guidance.

  65. Love the article. working in the high school I wish more parent would take an active role with there teen. I am always disturbed how parent do not communicate with their teen. Love working with teens.

  66. I don’t envy kids having to deal with so many problems today. It is so much more complicated than when I went to school. Kudos for making the effort to help in the transition.

  67. These are big transitions for teens to make .It is so wonderful that you are so involved in helping them make these transitions. My 18 yr old grandson just started college. He only went twice and is really stressed out over it. He wants to go but the over work is getting to him. He also works & he loves his job and his bosses love him. The classes he is taking will enable him to further himself in the same career. I told him to go talk to support services at school and explain to them that you can’t handle all the work. Hopefully they will be like you and be able to help him. Thankyou for this Wonderful Post..

  70. These are some very good tips. I have a step daughter going into high school so I can relate. I think joining school clubs and especially sports is a fantastic idea. I know that really helped me in high school. Being on a sports team really helped.

  71. I was fortunate to have a lot of friends that were already in high school. One of them took me to the school a few days early, and walked me though the school, showed me all my classes, and practiced my locker combination. It made the transition SO smooth. I am grateful he took the time to do that for me.

  72. These are wonderful tips to help in the transition. I would say number 6 is so very important. We have to listen to them and be there for them. (Even when they don’t know they need us)

  73. Life is so much tougher now for teens than it was 20 years ago when I started high school. I am so glad that my concerns were what to wear each morning. Now it is social networking, cyber bullies, and diabetes and cancer that is an every day reality for most teens.

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