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A Letter to My Parents

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A Letter to My Parents – I finally get it Mom and Dad

Parents

Dear Mom and Dad,

I thought I’d write this letter to you both my parents, as I feel I need to acknowledge a few things, say sorry for a few others and let you know that I think I’ve finally grown up (mostly).

Dad, I used to think it was funny and wonder how you could not remember how old you were. My 12 year old mind simply could not fathom how someone could not remember each and every birthday and know exactly how old they were.

I wasn’t worried that you would have to think for a few minutes on what my exact birthday was, you always got the month right away but had to remember was I the child who was born on the 12th of that month or the other one born on the 20th. Mom always knew and would remind you and our birthdays never went by without a celebration of some kind.

Well dad, I just had to share that just today I told someone my age and then realized I was wrong! Oops I was actually a year older than what I said, having had my birthday a few months ago. Now I’m finding that I sometimes have to take a minute and calculate how old I am as I just don’t think about it.

Michelle and Mom 4

Celebrating my birthday is just not a priority any more and hasn’t been for quite a while now. However my daughter’s birthdays are a priority, and I never have to hesitate when asked when she was born. Now I know why mom you were the one to always remember without hesitation our dates of birth. After all who can forget pregnancy, labour and then the baby and toddler years, not this mom or most moms that I know.

Mom, all those times you told me that I couldn’t pull the wool over your eyes because you had already been there and done that. Wow how could I have ever thought I was smart enough to do that or that you were that dumb. I totally get it now and I understand why you kept saying “you’ll understand when you have a daughter of your own”.

Yes I do understand now, all those times you let me get away with “sneaking in” and using your make-up. Not saying anything until I was older as you wanted me to use quality stuff on my skin and not go out and buy garbage. Reining me in when I was pushing the limit and teaching me right from wrong even though I didn’t know it at the time.

Not letting me go to that party at night in the park that I so desperately wanted to go to and was mad at you for not letting me go. You know the one where two teen-agers were killed that night in a drunk driving accident.

mom and michelle april 20-97

My daughter is not at the partying stage…yet but she starts high school later this year but it has got me thinking about all those times you said no and the reasons you gave me. It has me thinking of how I’m going to say no, when I can say yes and just hope that I’ve instilled in my daughter the values and trust that you nurtured in me.

My daughter and I have already had the conversation (more than once) that you know mom is not stupid and anything you’re trying to pull over us, guess what mom and dad have already tried it. She’s had the “we’re not stupid you know” conversations and many more and each time I say them your words echo in my head and I smile inside. While I may have thought I could pull the wool over your eyes I always knew deep down that mom and dad were just looking out for me as parents should do.

Now as I look out for my child, have her think I’m so mean sometimes I just hope that deep down she knows I’m just looking out for her too.

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My only regret mom and dad is that I did not tell you both before you were gone from us that you were right, I totally get it and no you were not stupid. That all your effort, frustration and love was not lost on deaf ears, it just took a while to absorb and for me to realize that I get it, you were right and thank you.

It took for me to be a parent to realize a lot of this as I started to echo your words. I think I’ve finally grown up (mostly) and I want to thank you both for it and tell you I miss you both. Mom you’ve been gone 10 years now, I can’t believe it and dad 7 years for you. You’re both missed but always loved. Thank you for helping me become the parent and person I am today.

What would you like to thank your parents for? Feel free to comment.

Comments

  1. Awwww, you made me cry. I know your parents have heard you and they must be very proud of you. Best wishes and blessings.

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  2. Wow, the entire time I was thinking how lucky you still have your parents. Because I don’t. I can’t say I know the feeling because we all grieve differently. My parents were a lot smarter than I game them credit for when I was wrong that yes I can laugh at how smart I thought I was. Wonderful letter, I will remember it always

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  3. Oh I am right there with you! Loving parents always bring the best out in us years later. We seem to turn right into those beautiful people that took all that love and raised us! Beautiful words~

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  4. A mother’s words: Just wait til you have kids of your own and you’ll understand.
    Thanks for the lovely letter

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  5. I really like that you wrote this letter. It helps to put on paper what you feel. I miss my parents everyday and they are gone 20, and 21 years already.

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  6. You got me all teary eyed. You were very fortunate to have such loving, good parents.It’s unfortunate for some of us that did not grow up with parents like that.I had a dad that was too strict, and a mom that was too lenient. My parents divorced when I was 7 and I ended up in the end staying with my mom whose thought process was to let her 16 year old daughter date a 22 year old and have sleep overs. With that said, I totally get all you said because unlike my parents I know what kind of parent I want to be and it’s all in the best interest and well being of my children. Not what always makes them happy or gives them their way. There are times they may hate me, but it’s for their own good.

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  7. This is so special it brought tears to my eyes you could not of said it better i feel the same towards my parents.

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  9. What a wonderful way to pay tribute to your parents. I wish I had done similar, but sadly, it’s too late for that.
    Your letter reminds me of an old saying (can’t give credit to its’ author because I can’t remember) but it is:
    “The older I get, the smarter my parents get.” Seems to fit so much in life, especially when raising a family of our own.
    Thanks for sharing!

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  10. This is so Beautifully written! And I could pretty much copy it for my parents!! Funny how Things go! I am so sorry for your loss, but I am happy for you that you did have two wonderful parents to help you become the Great mom you are today!! Just remember they are Always, Still watching over you and guiding you..For you have two Angels by your side!!! xoxo
    One of the luckiest things that can happen to you in life is to have a Happy Childhood!
    ~Agatha Christie

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  11. This is a beautiful letter to your parents. I believe that, even though they didn’t hear these sentiments when they were alive, they still heard it while you were writing it and whenever you think of them. My mom passed when I was thirty and I believe she hears me all the time. It’s a one sided conversation but it’s still quite comforting. Oh my goodness, I had to laugh at the picture of everyone when they were young. I think my mom had that same outfit! lol Thank-you for this heartfelt post!

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  12. What beautiful words you expressed. It is sad when we don’t get to share our thoughts before it is too late. I hope one day to hear these words from my own children. Thank you for sharing.

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  13. This is a beautiful letter. As a complicated child and parent in a complicated family, I appreciate peeks into other peoples lives.

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  14. It’s so true that we realize how right our parents, teachers and older people were when we were kids and they told us things that were good for us. I often reflect on the things older people told me when I was young that serve me well as an adult.

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  15. Okay this is very cute and sweet. I do get the birthday thing too. I stopped counting my birthday at 40. lol My sisters and I were all born in Nov. 10, 12, 23. Love your letter

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  16. it is an emotional moment when we touch upon the “parent” subject. Our parents, our souls that gave us life, love, support in whatever way they could… and knew.
    What is beautiful and Powerful in this instance, Michelle, that you have united us, your followers of the blog, in this moment of reflecting and remembering our parents.
    Thank you for this moment.

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  17. What a beautiful letter. I’d like to thank my parents for always being there for me until the day they passed away. Now I watch my own daughter raise my grandchildren. I now hear her tell her children things I’ve told her and it’s pretty amazing.

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  18. Parents a wonderful beings. It’s just too bad we don’t realize that as we’re growing up.

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  19. I absolutely feel the same way. After I had my kids I realized what I put them through and what they were ttalking about

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  20. It’s hard to understand anyone, much less parents, until you walk in their shoes. That old phrase “I’m turning into my mother.” does come true for many of us!

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  21. Both my parents are gone also I pray that they knew exactly how i felt about them. As mother and grandmother I understand everything they did was to make me a better person so I could raise my children the same way.

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  22. Omg your letter made me cry. It’s so sad that it was late
    for you to tell them personally, and I thank you because
    your letter make me realize how much I love my parents
    and that they have a hard time raising me because I was
    a pretty rebel teen.

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  24. Both my parents are gone. What a beautiful letter to share, I wish they were both here with me so I can tell them how much they did for me. I miss them so much…

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  25. I loved your letter! Many of the passages remind me of things in my own childhood. It was a great idea. You have inspired me to do the same for my parents. Thank You!

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  26. Your letter brought tears to my eyes! We should all tell our parents/loved ones how much they mean to us, as we never know how long we will have them!

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  28. Very nice letter. I think most kids realize that their parent are looking out for them. Unfortunately, we don’t realize it until much later in life.

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  30. It’s funny but I find myself saying the same things to my children that my mom you to tell me growing up; like, I was a teenager once I know what you are going through. It’s funny how much our perspective changes when we have children.

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  32. If we only knew then what we know now! There are so many things I wish I done done & asked while my parents were still here!

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  33. It is funny how we don’t get it until we are parents and are in the same shoes. I am forgetful too at times and I remember teasing them about this too. Thanks for sharing. I think they know what is going on and know this already.

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  34. Ok that brought tears to my eyes. I think I am going to write my parents a letter what a great tribute.

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  35. What a beautiful letter to your folks! We never quite get it until we grow up and have children of our own. Most of us go into it blind, and just do the best we can do. Life is all about the lessons.

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  37. This is a great letter and I agree with pretty much everything and would say the same thing to my parents if they were still here. My mom passed in 1987 and my dad in 1990 and my son wasn’t born until 2000. I find myself telling my son things that my mom or dad would tell me when I was 13 also.
    I also find myself wishing from time to time that my parents could have been here to see my son and watch him grow up. He is my only child and his mom passed in 2009 two weeks before his 9th birthday and he had a hard time dealing with that but now he is doing good and this last school year he made honor roll every term all year long. I am proud of him and I will do anything I can for him. I hope that I will be here long enough to be able to teach him all I can and see him grow up and have a family of his own.

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  38. This was a sweet post, isn’t it amazing how our perspectives change? I had a similar conversation with my mom just yesterday.

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  39. Wow! this brought tears to my eyes.
    I find more and more when I open my mouth, my mom comes out. I’m so glad she’s such a great person, and I love her so much.
    My dad, too, has ben gone for 9 years this month. I hear his echo in so many of the things I do and say.

    Yep. they were right. <3

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  40. I am so glad that you got the closure you needed for this. I was fortunate enough to be with my father when he passed away so I know how important that can be. This is a wonderful letter and I hope that everyone who reads it will take the time to tell their parents how much they love them and appreciate them because one day you may not get the chance to say it.

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  41. What a lovely letter. I believe your parents know what is in your heart even if you didn’t get the chance to say it before they passed.

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  42. I know exactly what you mean. My mom & I used to be at odds about everything when I was a teenager & we both said mean & hurtful things to each other & I thought she was so stupid & I was so smart. Boy was I ever wrong most of the time & boy was she ever right! I am so sorry that you lost both your parents so early & it makes me realize how blessed I am to still have my mom even though she suffers from Alzheimer’s. We just lost our dad last year & I still miss him so much. But I learned so much from both of them and because of those lessons I am now blessed with 2 wonderful daughters that somehow let me be right & listened to what I told them & therefore didn’t have to go through as much junk as I did.

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  44. Michelle that is so sweet. Made me teary eyed. I’m sorry you lost your parents. I’m so blessed to still have mine. I was such a pain in the butt when I was a teenager. I hung out with the wrong crowd and did drugs. I made my mom worry way to much and for that I feel bad. I know she’s forgiven me but it still makes me feel bad sometimes. I’m a better mom because of my mom teaching me how. I had my daughter when I was 20 and didn’t have a clue what I was doing. My mom helped me raise her since I was a single mom. I’m happy with the way my daughter turned out. She’s a good girl, has a wonderful man she’s going to marry next yr and has blessed me with a beautiful granddaughter who is my world. It’s so amazing to love my granddaughter the way I love my daughter. Thanks for sharing your letter 🙂

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  45. This is a great letter. My parents raised me so well that I turned out pretty good…and don’t give them nearly the credit that I should have, especially when I was growing up. We can only hope we do half as good as the gems we have for parents.

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  46. What a beautiful letter to your parents, Michelle. I am fortunate to still have both parents, and it is really hard even in my 40’s to tell them how I feel, because sometimes I don’t feel as though I’ve lived up to their hopes and dreams for me, and become what they wanted for me in life. It’s just so hard to say the things to those we love, but I do know from losing some of my best friends and never getting to tell them what I felt, how important it is to say what we feel and how much we appreciate what they do for us, and that their opinions and values instilled in us do echo in our heads and mean a lot to us. – your note has inspired me to tell my family and friends how I feel! Thank you! By the way – I’m sure your parents knew how you felt, even if you didn’t get to tell them outright…they knew, just as they knew all the other things. Parents are smart, and they know us – just as you know your own kids hearts! <3 🙂

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  48. I too have now lost both my parents. I know exactly how you feel and why you were compelled to write this to your parents. It takes being a parent yourself to fully understand how & why your parents may have reacted in a certain way with you when you were growing up.

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  50. This is beautiful. I would thank my parents for teaching me to be respectful toward others, to know how to handle money wisely and to live a life of moral integrity.

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  51. What a nice letter! I think I would thank my dad for teaching me responsibility and to be frugal and my mom for creating a nice and stable home growing up!

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  52. That was a very beautiful letter you wrote and somehow I feel that your parents already know everything that you said. You’re a very good mother and I admire that!

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  54. This is a lovely note and it says what so many of us wish we had thought to say to our parents before they died. It made me think over so many old memories and brought tears to my eyes.

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  55. What a nice way to pay tribute to your parents. Now that I’m a parent, I totally understand why my parents did a lot of things that I didn’t understand when I was younger!

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