A Letter to My Parents – I finally get it Mom and Dad
Dear Mom and Dad,
I thought I’d write this letter to you both my parents, as I feel I need to acknowledge a few things, say sorry for a few others and let you know that I think I’ve finally grown up (mostly).
Dad, I used to think it was funny and wonder how you could not remember how old you were. My 12 year old mind simply could not fathom how someone could not remember each and every birthday and know exactly how old they were.
I wasn’t worried that you would have to think for a few minutes on what my exact birthday was, you always got the month right away but had to remember was I the child who was born on the 12th of that month or the other one born on the 20th. Mom always knew and would remind you and our birthdays never went by without a celebration of some kind.
Well dad, I just had to share that just today I told someone my age and then realized I was wrong! Oops I was actually a year older than what I said, having had my birthday a few months ago. Now I’m finding that I sometimes have to take a minute and calculate how old I am as I just don’t think about it.
Celebrating my birthday is just not a priority any more and hasn’t been for quite a while now. However my daughter’s birthdays are a priority, and I never have to hesitate when asked when she was born. Now I know why mom you were the one to always remember without hesitation our dates of birth. After all who can forget pregnancy, labour and then the baby and toddler years, not this mom or most moms that I know.
Mom, all those times you told me that I couldn’t pull the wool over your eyes because you had already been there and done that. Wow how could I have ever thought I was smart enough to do that or that you were that dumb. I totally get it now and I understand why you kept saying “you’ll understand when you have a daughter of your own”.
Yes I do understand now, all those times you let me get away with “sneaking in” and using your make-up. Not saying anything until I was older as you wanted me to use quality stuff on my skin and not go out and buy garbage. Reining me in when I was pushing the limit and teaching me right from wrong even though I didn’t know it at the time.
Not letting me go to that party at night in the park that I so desperately wanted to go to and was mad at you for not letting me go. You know the one where two teen-agers were killed that night in a drunk driving accident.
My daughter is not at the partying stage…yet but she starts high school later this year but it has got me thinking about all those times you said no and the reasons you gave me. It has me thinking of how I’m going to say no, when I can say yes and just hope that I’ve instilled in my daughter the values and trust that you nurtured in me.
My daughter and I have already had the conversation (more than once) that you know mom is not stupid and anything you’re trying to pull over us, guess what mom and dad have already tried it. She’s had the “we’re not stupid you know” conversations and many more and each time I say them your words echo in my head and I smile inside. While I may have thought I could pull the wool over your eyes I always knew deep down that mom and dad were just looking out for me as parents should do.
Now as I look out for my child, have her think I’m so mean sometimes I just hope that deep down she knows I’m just looking out for her too.
My only regret mom and dad is that I did not tell you both before you were gone from us that you were right, I totally get it and no you were not stupid. That all your effort, frustration and love was not lost on deaf ears, it just took a while to absorb and for me to realize that I get it, you were right and thank you.
It took for me to be a parent to realize a lot of this as I started to echo your words. I think I’ve finally grown up (mostly) and I want to thank you both for it and tell you I miss you both. Mom you’ve been gone 10 years now, I can’t believe it and dad 7 years for you. You’re both missed but always loved. Thank you for helping me become the parent and person I am today.
What would you like to thank your parents for? Feel free to comment.