Magnolia Ripkin Gives In Your Face and Humorus Advice to Powered by Mom Readers
Because Everyone is Entitled to her Opinion
It seems that on every street corner there’s someone hocking their goods on how they can make your life better from self help books to life coaches and more. The industry tries to take advantage of the opportunity to “help you”. Many are a cookie cutter solution, assuming that one size (or one advice) fits all. So much of it is just so well “beige”, colorless, useless and just plain boring and whitewashed.
We don’t need white washed advice, it’s rarely helpful, we need a proverbial slap (maybe a really one too) in the face with a dash of humor to get us thinking and out of the beige. Well some of our readers are getting just that from our guest author Magnolia Ripkin!
Magnolia Ripkin is sort of like your mouthy Aunt who drinks too much and tells you how to run your life, except funny… well mostly funny… like a cold glass of water in the face. Channeling Erma Bombeck and Dear Abby she is flinging out advice, answering pressing questions about business, personal development, parenting, heck even the bedroom isn’t safe. New to the scene, she would love to answer your reader questions. Other places to find her: Huffington Post and check her out in the amazing compendium of hot bloggers who are published in I Just Want to Be Alone (I Just Want to Pee Alone) from www.amazon.com and on her blog www.magnoliaripkin.com
Question number 1:
I would like some advice on what to do about this situation; my stepson is serving in the Army right now in Alaska. Back in February he contacted us to let us know that we were going to be grandparents again now for the second time. The baby was to be due at the end of this month in August. As far as I know he did ask this girl to marry him. But she turned him down, now we just got word from him that she has told him to get lost a few weeks ago. Told him that she is going to take him for everything she can. She has two older children now ages six and three I believe, and could be from two different father’s also. I think this gal has been putting her hooks in a lot of the service men up there if you know what I mean. What can we do to make sure that if that baby is really our son’s child about his rights and ours as far as getting to see that child? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank-you
I am going to need to dust off my law degree (the one I don’t actually have) and think on this one. The good news is that the law will be a friend to your boy in this situation. If she wants money for the care and maintenance of zygote, she will probably have to prove paternity. If baby Alaska is not from your gene pool, then he is off the hook. If he has impregnated that twit of a woman, then he has obligations, and rights. There are lawyers who deal with dumb young people who are forever breeding and not thinking about the consequences. They can help your son, he needs it.
Question number 2:
I want to know how to handle teen boys who are bigger than you are and have lost their manners. Getting in my face and refusing to do anything they are told. They team up on me and they have been grounded to their rooms for weeks with no phones or privileges and just seem to keep getting worse. I’m at a loss with these two and my younger kids 10 & 4) are mimicking the teens’ behavior. (My 20 year old son never did this)
First of all, you are outnumbered. I presume by now you have figured out what causes all these children right? But now that you have them, it is time to deal with them. We know teenagers are assholes, but they need to know when the line is drawn. As my old German Dad said, they need to know when your words smell of cemetery that you mean it.
I am also going to assume you have a man in the house with these teens? It is very much the role of the Dad-like figure to set the tone for how their Mom, and women in general are treated. It might not be the case, but do you let men in your life treat you dismissively? If so, then those boys are being follow along ducklings for what you permit. If you really can’t see where they get this stuff, or there is no Dad around then you need to go hard on them. No money, no privileges, throttle back on anything they love that is in your control. Stop trying to make them like you… be scary as hell. Do they have jobs? Make them get one. Do they have embarrassment buttons? Push those.
If you don’t get a handle on that behaviour you are going to have hell on your hands for years. But honey, you have to dig around in your behaviour and inner dialogue to see if you are permitting this on some level. It doesn’t come from nothing. People only mistreat you if you let them.
Reader Question Number 3
I have a 13 year old daughter, she’s a sweet kid, she’s starting high school this year. She’s small for her age and perhaps I’m worry too much but I worry she will get picked on or left out too much in high school. She hates it when I bug her about her hair, she has a lot of hair but it’s fine and knots easy and gets oily very easy. So when I remind her to wash her hair she does it as little as possible. She’ll have showers but tries to get away with not washing her hair cause it’s so much work for her, even when it’s shorter it knots like crazy. It’s a battle to get her to brush and wash her hair more often, she doesn’t care how it looks but I worry she’ll get teased about it at school. Do I let her get tease, continue to be on her butt about it, let it go or what?
I have a 13 year old. They can be bought. Ask her if she wants a dip dye or ombre style for her hair and take her to the salon for it. If she has cooler hair than the other girls, she may take better care of herself. I am going to assume that you told her straight up that she will make herself a target, because people will ignore a lovely kid if they are unhygienic. Or worse, they will do the girl thing and ostracise her. Girls need friends, and she will figure out that the sharp pain in her back is the glide of a teenage mean girl knife. Give her head a shake on that one.
Here is my worry. If you let her get teased, that will be it. She doesn’t have a second chance to make a first impression. Talk to your girl, tell her it is serious and she has to be clean and groomed. Use what she loves as bait, and offer her the chance to have cool hair, and don’t be a bag if she wants it blue.
You won’t like this next part, my friends sure don’t, but I am still right. There is a currency to the teen social infrastructure. If they are wearing a particular brand, have cell phones and use licorice for show laces, make it happen for your girl. We ignore the social currency of high school at our peril.
There you have it folks, Magnolia gave it to us with her cold glass of water in the face and mouthy aunt style and we thank her for it. She got me thinking how about you?! If you want to read more of what Magnolia has to say make sure to subscribe to her blog and go follow her on Facebook and get a daily dose of Magnolia. We all need it!